Hello readers,
My sister and I decided to write a blog together because our lives have always merged. Of course, you may think, duh we’re sisters, but now we live together. Now our lives and lifestyles are so intertwined. We live in a two family household, where we get to raise our kids together. We get to have a partnership that’s different from the average adults our age. Our lifestyles are heavily influenced by each other and we consider each other in the life decisions we make. As we do this hell of a journey called life together, we’re determined to create a lifestyle that fills us with joy, health, wealth, and so much growth. As we continue on this journey we would like you to join us as we share our experiences, what we learned, how we’ve grown, and the challenges we face. First we would like to take a second and introduce ourselves, collectively and individually. Our names are Andrea and Janelle Sanders. We grew up in Brooklyn, New York. We were raised by both parents which we are blessed to still have in our lives. Our mother is a Caribbean born woman who legally migrated here, to the US. Our father was born and raised in the lower east side of New York City. We grew up “poor.” We put this in quotations, because if you know, you know! Poor is a mindset, and our parents made sure we never felt it or knew it. Our friends and family would come over to visit and call our bedroom Toys R’ Us. We had so many toys, and our Christmas Tree was always packed year after year. At that young of an age we didn’t understand the sacrifices our parents may have made to make these memories happen. Now as parents ourselves we have a better understanding of this, as well as some strategies our parents may have used to provide for us that we are able to apply to our lives today.
I’m Andrea, I’m the eldest sister. I was considered the more challenging child growing up. I was rebellious, but who wants to follow the rules? In all seriousness, I just marched to the beat of my own drum. With that attitude came many lessons. Because I went against my parents, I had to fend for myself earlier than usual. This was challenging but I learned a lot of life lessons along the way. Don’t get my story misconstrued, my parents tried their best, but their method of parenting didn’t compliment my method of teenaging. One thing my dad always knew about me is I can hold my own. So I think they always knew I would be just fine. I had to fall on my face a few times, before I realized I wanted more for myself. In 2008 after the death of our grandmother, I moved to Binghamton NY for a fresh start. Binghamton was the town where my dad lived when he attended undergraduate college at Binghamton University. He had so much love for this place he convinced me to move there. I became licensed in early childcare. I opened up my first business, a daycare provider and director of Texanna’s haven. My business was named after my grandmother. I found success in this business and made many friendships along the way. I lived there for 9 years. I gave birth to my first child there, my son. He is currently 11 years olds.
During Covid, my business began to take some hits. That wasn’t my biggest worry at the time, I was more focused on the well being of my family. I couldn’t stand the distance between my family and I. I decided to take a risk, and move to Baltimore to be close to my sister. It was nice to have a bubble of people that I was able to interact with during the quarantine. While in Baltimore, I was involved in a toxic relationship that ended in just the right amount of time. The universe definitely had plans for me, because right after I had the guts to end that relationship, I met the love of my life and the father of my daughter. You heard me right I waited 10 years before I had my second child. I’m starting all over again at 39. At times it can be rough but having a child later in age but I truly believe it’s the way to go. We are all so present with her. It’s like we’ve done all the exploring, and rushing earlier in our 20’s and early 30’s. Now is the time for being present. Not only does she have a present parents, but she has a brother that dotes over her, and a big cousin she adores who adores her just as much, and lets not forget my sister. The Aunt that’s an artist that thinks should explore and express herself, in other words, she lets her do what she damn pleases. I literally have my village. It’s different this time around, with my son, it was mainly just me, other than the weekends my parents visited. His father wasn’t ready to father, even after this being his 4th child. We’ll get into THAT part of “Lifeing” at a later time.
As a second time parent you know and realize how fast they grow and you try not to miss anything. My body may not work the same way as it did 10 years ago but that’s where my new lifestyle has come into play. I live with my village. The older kids keep her busy and I have a stronger focus on eating better and increasing my exercise. I’m making better decisions for the betterment of my family now that I tried to do this in my earlier years as a parent, but life got in the way, you know how that goes.
Next you’ll get to meet my sister, read her intro, read her story. We hope to share with you where we are with maintaining a lifestyle together that works for both of us. so please stick around.
I’m Janelle, the younger sister of the two. I’m going to condense my story as much as I can so you can get a feel for who I am. Currently I’m 37 years of age, but I definitely feel younger. It’s crazy how we age, but our mind and soul still feels young. Sometimes I can’t believe I’m adulting because I still feel like my 8 year old self. My students often tell me “Ms. Sanders, you’re just a big kid” and there is no lie there. Yes, I’m a teacher, an art teacher to be specific. I’ve been a teacher in Baltimore City Public Schools for 15 years as of today. How did I get to Baltimore if we mentioned earlier that we were Brooklyn girls? Well, you see, when it was time for me to decide what was next for me after highschool. I said to myself “Janelle, you’ve been creating art since you were 3, what else are you going to do?!?!” I knew I was going to continue my art journey even if I was unsure, being a starving artist wasn’t appealing to me.
My mother wanted me to stay as close to home as possible and attend one of the many art colleges in NYC. My father said “It’s time to cut the cord.” He encouraged me to go away to school, because he valued his college experience away from home. If you choose to hang around and get to know us further, you will learn that my father has always been the one to get me to take risks and step outside my comfort zone. In doing so I often reap the reward. So I decided to go to college at the Maryland Institute College of Art. Back then, that institution was number 3 in the country for colleges with a focus on the Arts.
During my freshman year there I decided to try Intro to Art Education. Originally, my reason for doing this was, as mentioned, being a struggling artist wasn’t appealing to me. I figured being a teacher could be the back up plan in case I wasn’t successful as an artist. Once enrolled in the course and I experienced being in the field, I surprisingly did not like, but loved teaching. It was no longer the back up plan, it was just what felt right. I created art all my life because I was born with that talent, but teaching gave me purpose in so many ways. The last year of my masters program, I was invited to interview at a local public charter school. I interviewed there, fell in love with the school’s mission, and their educational model. After my first day, I never left that school. I learned so much and grew a ton as an educator there. I’m so grateful that Southwest Baltimore Charter School was where my educational Journey began.
My Journey into motherhood started at Southwest Baltimore Charter School as well. I met my daughter’s father there, though we are no longer together, I’m forever grateful for the opportunity I had to become a mother. My second year of teaching, I became pregnant with my daughter, Joelle. I was 24 years old when I found out I was pregnant and I definitely didn’t feel ready to be a mom. I had a career and I owned my house that I purchased that previous summer, but mentally I didn’t feel ready. I was a big kid myself, why would the universe trust me to be a mother. My pregnancy was pretty easy until she decided to come 6 weeks early. But once she was here a light switched on and I didnt want to be anything but her protector, provider, nurturer, and teacher. I was no longer afraid, that was no longer an option. I knew I had to be my best self moving forward. Though her father and I didnt remain together we worked hard to remain friends for her sake. Co-parenting has its ups and downs but we’re committed to making her life the best that we can make it. Over the years, we have received so many compliments for how we co-parent but that’s a topic I will dive into in a future post. But know that there is so much truth to the quote” Nothing worth having, ever came easy.”
Now babygirl is about to be 12 years old. She attends the school where her father and I both work. She has committed to being a ballet dancer at the Ballet Nouveau School. She has been dancing there since she was 3 years old. I tried hard to refrain from becoming a dance mom, but I couldn’t fight it. Currently I’m a dance mom, and I love it more than I imagined.
Since becoming a teacher, to a homeowner, to a mother, to a dance mom, becoming organized naturally became part of who I was. Selfcare and my mental health became something I valued and prioritized. I also began to prioritize my health and fitness, especially after all of the changes my body experienced post pregnancy. I also valued researching and experiencing systems and structures that would make my lifestyle sustainable. My goal is to be great at all the roles I play. I don’t like to half-ass anything I do. But in order to do well at all the things, I needed to make sure I had infrastructures in place that worked for my lifestyle, that would support me in being successful in all the roles. I hope you stick around so that I’m able to share my toolbox and the frameworks that have worked for me and hopefully you can gain support from my story and journey as well.